The Fruit of the Spirit and Gender

Courageous. Strong. Assertive. Competitive. Ambitious.

Kind. Gentle. Affectionate. Nurturing. Patient. Relational.

Our culture has ideals regarding what makes a man masculine and what makes a woman feminine. Even our churches tend to push these qualities, emphasizing a man’s wild “warrior heart” and a woman’s desire to be found “captivating.” Yet, while teaching the fruit of the Spirit to the kids yesterday morning, I was struck by how these godly characteristics are often deemed “feminine” traits by many people. We often describe women as exuding love, peace, patience, gentleness and kindness. As for men, these characteristics are secondary at best, sometimes even non-existent on the list. More often than not, these traits tend to polarize men and women. There is something very wrong with our understanding of what it means to raise our children to be godly women and men. Our gender expectations have held the transformative work of the Spirit captive.

We need to teach our boys that they can be both competitive and self-controlled. Being strong does not mean forgoing gentleness; being assertive does not mean forfeiting love. Love, joy, and peace should be their defining character qualities, not our culture’s understanding of masculinity. (Conversely, girls can couple ambition and bravery with the fruit of the Spirit as well, but that’s another topic for another day J).

Regardless of their gender, the fruit of the Spirit should characterize all Christians.

May God bless you all to overflow with the fruit of the Spirit and to model them for your children!

God’s love and mine,

Christina

P.S. Here are some simple questions to help you reinforce the lesson this week:

• What are some ways you see the fruit of the Spirit in your family members?
• What are some signs of God’s Spirit working inside of you?
• What keeps us from growing spiritual fruit?

Being "Impressive" Parents This School Year

As the school year begins, I am reminded by how much of a critical role parents have in influencing the next generation. There is so much pressure to be ideal parents, however, that this role can at times seem overwhelming. It may feel like you are expected to be “superparents” who facilitate family devotions every morning, pray together every night, play contemporary Christian music in the car and recall Bible verses at any moment’s notice. The reality? Remembering to send your kids off to school with their homework completed and sack lunch in hand is a feat in itself!

Parenting is hard. Anyone who claims otherwise is probably covering up something or is attempting to sell a best seller. We at Southern Hills want you to know that your role as parents/guardians is not to impress us with your parenting skills. Your role is to impress on your children the grace and goodness of God, even in the midst of chaos and misstep. God is already at work telling his story of redemption through your family, and you don’t need to become the “right” kind of parent before God can use you in your children’s lives.

I am looking forward to partnering with you again in giving our kids a front-row view of God’s grace at work!

Christina

P.S. Attached are some conversation starters to help with the “after school talk.”